GCSE's ?
From Skeptic's in the Pub's Nick Pullar:

Last month we had an amusing discussion on Noah's Ark, which will serve those of us with school-age children in good stead when they come to do their GCSE's in future. The OCR Exam Board has announced that Creationism can be taught in Science classes! This is a shocking indictment on the education system! I suggest writing to your MP to express your view on this development [see example below]. This, in conjunction with Blair's massive increase in Faith Schools shows, I think, the Government is ever more concerned to press people into faith, whether they want to go or not! For more information, check out these two stories: http://education.guardian.co.uk/gcses/story/0,,1728236,00.html and http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4793198.stm
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Dear Sir,

I'm writing to you regarding the introduction of the new "Gateway to
Biology" syllabus being set out for GCSE students by the OCR
examination board, which has garnered attention in the press (it has
been covered by the Times, the Guardian and the BBC Education news
website).

While some have been critical of the introduction of creationist
theories in to the biological sciences, I do not think it goes far
enough. I'd like to submit the following theories to the government to
be considered for inclusion on the relevant GCSE syllabi.

1. The phlogiston theory of combustion.

2. The geocentric theory of planetary rotation - namely that all
planets rotate around the Earth which is the centre of the universe.

3. The astrological theory of history - that the position of the stars
at the time of one's birth can have a significant and predictable
input on one's behaviour.

4. The "it never happened" theory of the Holocaust - that the gas
chambers were used to delouse clothing, the piles of dead bodies found
all died of natural causes, that there was no planned mass execution
of Jews, homosexuals, gypsies and political dissidents during the era
of the Nazi rule of Germany and that Hitler had no knowledge or input
in the planning of execution of this non-event despite statements such
as "I made it plain that they, this parasitic vermin in Europe, will
be finally exterminated".

5. The phrenological theory of human psychology - that the shape of
one's head is a reliable predictor of human psychological attitudes
and dispositions.

6. The stork theory of human origins - that human babies are not
delivered through sexual reproduction as in the rest of the animal
kingdom but through the delivery of the child by a stork.

7. The Disney stork theory of universal origins - that all animals are
delivered through the stork method of reproductive transport, as in
(6).

8. The backmasking theory of popular music - that there exists within
popular music, mostly in the hard rock and metal styles, Satanic and
other messags of dubious moral status (examples include "My sweet
Satan", "Kill yourself" and "It's fun to smoke marijuana") which can
be revealed when played backwards, and that these messages have caused
listeners of this music to do a number of tragic and criminal actions,
including murder, suicide attempts and going "off the rails".

9. The Afrocentric theory of history - namely, that all of our
scientific and cultural innovations have been stolen from Africa.
According to this theory, the two most important figures in Western
cultural history, Socrates and Jesus, were both Black Africans who
subsequent historians have "whitened".

10. The hollow earth theory of geology - that the Earth is totally
hollow. Connected with this theory is the theory that below California
there exists a city named "Telos" which sends out psychic messages
about peace and prosperity to anyone who wants to know (enclose $20).

11. The mesmerist theory of psychology - that one can mesmerise
patients in to a state of hypnotic trance and cure them in this
position. Now not used so much for serious medical illnesses, but to
do yuppie luxury operations such as penis extension, baldness
treatment and breast enlargement.

12. The homeopathic theory of chemistry - that ultra-high dilutions of
substances in water can have a bigger biological effect than the
undiluted concentrate of the substance. Taken to the extreme, it means
dropping one drop of the substrate in to the Atlantic ocean, stirring
and then drinking a glass of water from it.

13. The polygraph theory of psychology - that physical symptoms can be
detected reliably in order to see whether or not the subject is lying.

14. The Time Cube theory of cosmology - described at timecube.com.

15. Scientology - the belief that a character called Xenu visited the
Earth and brought millions of souls with us, packaged in to volcanoes
which we can access through finding our Operating Thetans and
uncovering secret memories about intergalactic walruses and Martian
bishops driving steamrollers.

You may recognise some of these as part of government practice already
- item 12 is being offered on the National Health Service, and
proponents of item 15 operate a drug-treatment programme which is
advertised on London buses. If the government is going to allow the
OCR examination board to examine creationist theories of human and
biological origins, it is only fair that these other, sort-of
scientific theories get looked at as well. They have as much evidence
and scientific support as the creationist theory.

We wouldn't want politicians, currently debating the future of
schooling in Britain, to deny children access to these many failed
sciences. With the slowing access and take-up of rigourous scientific
education, economically-savvy students will also be able to find
career paths offering professional services that rely on the
above-mentioned theories to people who have absolutely no clue what's
going on.

Seriously, we've got brains for a reason. Perhaps someone in
government could exercise theirs so that the next generation isn't as
scientifically illiterate as the current one. Then we might be able to
free ourselves of the cycle of pseudoscientific humbug that led those
faith-based warriors to blow up large parts of central London last
July.

Please don't let the government ignore the work we are doing in favour of pseudoscience.


Yours,

== END ==
--
(Thanks to Tom Morris for the letter.
[S.R.]
http://blogs.opml.org/tommorris )

On a slightly different tack, please attend the March for Freedom of Expression in Trafalgar Square from 1400 on 25 March if you can. I am on the organising committee, and it would be great to see you there if you support the aim of political discourse where there are no threats of violence from any quarter. We plan a peaceful, provocative and enthusiastic celebration of our right to freedom of expression - you are most welcome! http://marchforfreeexpression.blogspot.com .

Cheers,

Nick.


Skeptic